Noncomplaint: Musings

Yesterday and today have been really lazy. Mostly because I'm sick with some sort of fatigue/sore throat deal, but also because I'm hugely afraid of starting up school again.

Winter break is officially ending - the new quarter starts on Monday, and one of my classes is an introductory Creative Writing class. There, I'll be faced with the decision of what in the world I want to do with my life. Sort of.

You see, I started college with the full intention of becoming a doctor. A full-blown medical doctor with a good amount of sass and humor and sexiness.

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Forever a role model.

Of course, I soon realized that, as a med-student, I would be married to my weakest subject (mathy science and all math-related things) and disregard any sort of social life (not like I had any to begin with HEYOO). I also realized that I was more interested in the idea of becoming a doctor than the amount of work required to become one. So, being a doctor was scraped.

I jumped from wanting to be a Psychologist to Journalist to a short stint as an English teacher (that ended quickly because things like "teaching" and "children" are not my forte) before I realized that I really, really like writing. So, here I am: an English major, seriously considering switching into my school's Creative Writing program, wondering if I even have what it takes to make a living doing something I enjoy.

That's all that matters though, right? As long as I'm doing what I love, I'm doing something right. Sure, I'll probably have to have a Real Job to pay the bills before I find myself as a writer (oh god that sounds so pretentious). But my hopes are that I'll be able to find success in some form or another.

I'm just kind of winging it right now, and to be honest, it's kind of fun.

I am a fan of meticulously planning everything. I can't go somewhere without knowing who I'm going with, where we're going, how much money I'll need, and how I'm getting home, weeks before I actually go anywhere.

I reach a point where I'm badgering people with questions like, "How far is it?" "How long will it take to get there?" "Are you factoring in weather conditions?" "Are you prepared for a natural disaster, like a tornado?" "Yes, I know tornadoes are not a Thing in California." "What about a zombie apocalypse? We're in 2012 now, you know."

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REAL CONCERNS.

I don't go places very often.

But anyway, knowing that I'm not 100% on my future is...kind of cool, actually. It's different. I know I want to finish my degree. I know I want to write. I know I want to have Cuddle Timez with Boyfriend and our fat dogbearsealpig, Martha. That's it. That's my plan for the next few years.

And that's enough.